Ringside Commentary
Sep26
Apologies to my Eastward neighbors for my best attempt at a Lu-si-anna accent. I once had the chance to talk with a real Cajun at a gas station outside of Baton Rouge, and, to this day, I have no idea what he was talking about.
How good is Cherek with his tongue? I hope it’s a girl satisfaction contest, else Grolff Two Hammer doesn’t stand a chance AFAIK.
As it happens, I saw a car today with various insurrectionist stickers on the back window, one of which was ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ, roughly COME AND TAKE IT, what Leonidas I reportedly said to Xerxes I at the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 BC.
On checking that I remembered the history of the phrase right, I found that many depictions of the Battle of Thermopylae show Leonidas and his hoplites going into battle nude, like our two protagonists in the current Delve episode. That strikes me as sub-optimal as far as avoiding bodily injury goes.
It turns out that “heroic nudity” is a thing.
Me, I like the Bree and Moonblade and Teal versions of clotheslessness.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heroic_nudity
https://www.artandobject.com/articles/heroic-nude-masculinity-laid-bare
Less than optimal at avoid injuries, but IIRC fighting naked did reduce the risk of wounds getting infected due to clothing fibers getting stuck in the wound. Of course, if the enemy did stuff like shoving their sword into the latrines before the fight, nasty infection would still probably kill you…
Hadrian, the greatest risk of death from a melee weapon comes from it breaking, severing or puncturing parts of your body you really did not wanted to have broken, severed or punctured – the risk of infection after having survived a battle is an afterthought after, well, surviving the battle.
WHoever did ever tell you that fighting without armor (and yes, cloth counts as armor for this purpose – won’t protect you against a big cut but will protect you against minor ones, the kind who make you bleed, get weak from blood loss and be killed) is safer or less risky than fighting with it was either lying or misinformed.
“like our two protagonists in the current Delve episode. That strikes me as sub-optimal as far as avoiding bodily injury goes.” – may be part of rules… no weapons, no clothes/armor so no advantages from one guy having better armor or weapon than other. Given world setting with magical gear, may very much help make fair fight… otherwise one of them could be wearing “boots of speed” or “belt of giant strength”.
Or… a ‘Diadem of Dragon-dickery’
What about the ‘buttplug of corruption’ Cherek is also wearing?
Rest in pieces Grolff, your tongue will be remembered
Maybe a necromancer can do something about it. I can envision the publicity: “the best reanimated spare parts in all the Orclands!”
Macabre but I’m pretty sure most orc ladies won’t mind.
Nothing hidden here.
Maybe Cherek will leave enough un-shredded – Grolff’s tongue and…um. other bits – for Renata to have as a keepsake, in a jar, I guess. Certainly should bring down the number of would-be champions to just Stone-Breaker and Sark. Meantime, love that Renata! She’s mighty fine fun!
The Ancient Greeks were big on nudity – alas their Olympics was only guys, no girls allowed.
Seeing what one of his, Cherek’s, voting incentive art previewed him, it did look like he had “other bits” in hand.
I think we all know who wins the current match.
Where is his second hammer?
Ha, ha…I think they are on the end of his arms….not….
Won’t save him though.
I guess the outcome will depend on how “stonelike” Mr. Two Hammer happens to be.